if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
