If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
