cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
