we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
