You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
