I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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