They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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