i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
