I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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