Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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