life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
