I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
