just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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