oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
