Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
