Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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