thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
