Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
