Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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