Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
