I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
