Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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