They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I will die if light touches me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
