You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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