Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
