So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
