so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
