He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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