Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
