how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
