He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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