I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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