cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
