she looked like the before picture.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
