Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
