Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
