three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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