your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
