i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
