Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
