I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
