moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
