This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
