So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
