Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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