is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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