There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
