Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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