I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
