I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
