I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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