We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
