Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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