whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
